We often imagine “holding on too tightly” as something obvious—clenched fists, sleepless nights, endless worry. But sometimes the signs are subtle, easy to overlook, and yet they quietly weigh us down.
The truth is, holding on too tightly often has less to do with strength and more to do with fear. And while fear tries to keep us safe, it also keeps us stuck. Scripture reminds us in 1 Peter 5:7, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” Learning to recognize the signs is the first step toward release and renewal.
Here are five subtle ways you may be holding on too tightly:
1. You Replay the Same Scenario in Your Mind
You tell yourself it’s “processing,” but in reality, it’s rumination. You relive the same conversations, what you could have said differently, what you should have done. This cycle keeps you tethered to the past instead of open to what God is doing now.
2. You Struggle to Rest
Even when you’re physically still, your mind keeps racing. You can’t quiet the what-ifs, and rest feels impossible. But rest is not laziness—it’s trust. When rest feels foreign, it may be a sign you’re carrying what you were never meant to hold.
3. You Delay New Opportunities
Sometimes holding on looks like hesitation. You sense God nudging you toward a new relationship, role, or creative project, but fear of releasing the old keeps you frozen. The delay isn’t always about timing—it may be about trust.
4. You Feel Responsible for Everyone Else’s Outcomes
You carry the weight of decisions that aren’t yours to carry. You believe if you don’t manage every detail, everything will fall apart. But responsibility and control are not the same. Stewardship is faithful; control is exhausting.
5. Joy Feels Out of Reach
When joy feels distant, it may be because your hands are too full. Holding on too tightly doesn’t just block pain—it blocks joy. Letting go creates room for peace, laughter, and renewal to flow back in.
The Invitation to Release
Letting go doesn’t mean you stop caring. It means you stop carrying what was never yours to bear. It means you place your trust in the One who holds you steady.
As Psalm 55:22 says, “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.”
Take a moment today to ask: What am I still holding too tightly? What would it feel like to place it into God’s hands?
Closing Word
Holding on too tightly is often invisible until we name it. But once you do, release becomes possible. And in release, you’ll find not emptiness, but renewal.
💡 Want to go deeper? Explore the Letting Go Journal in my shop—created to help you write it out, reflect, and open space for God’s new thing.
Rita Lynn Berry, EdS, LCMHC, is a licensed clinical mental health counselor and the founder of NewVision Counseling and Consulting Services, PLLC. She is also the creator of the Journey to Me™ program and Mend n Muse Media™, where she shares tools and reflections that support healing, resilience, and self-love.